You Know What To Do But Just Can’t Move
You are an intelligent person. You try to be a good human. You recycle, meditate, practice yoga, love your family unconditionally, work hard and live a relatively simple life.
Folks, I am a Health Coach and Yogi. I even own a yoga studio. Yet, when times get rough especially in times such as these, I shut down-mentally, physically and emotionally. I always have:( Even with a vast array of knowledge, my heart closes in on me. It can feel as if I am suffocating or drowning. It seems impossible to try and explain. Nutrition, yoga, friendships and even family are put on hold. Is this part of some evil scheme, depression or am I literally jumping off the deep end?
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Especially now when the world is telling you to meditate, exercise, eat right and do lots of yoga to keep yourself happy and healthy. So, why can’t you seem to do any of these things?
It means you are human. You have insecurities. You haven’t learned the Upanishads backwards and forwards like so many great Yogis. Ayurveda is a science that intrigues you and is practiced in your life but still evades you at times as you devour a hamburger. And sometimes damn it as much as you want to help your body and the planet; a glass of wine, snickers and grabbing a plastic water bottle in a hurry – well they just happen.
The Dalai Lama may be perfect as well as Gandhi, Buddha and God or whatever Divine power you happen to cherish (or not). You may be Vegan, Vegetarian, Pescatarian or a total meat lover but you are still human, make mistakes and succumb to fear. It does not make you a bad person.
So, you skip yoga and don’t have that green smoothie for a few days! Don’t beat yourself up about it. Especially now. I am the Queen at doing this and my friends know when I go dark to keep reaching out until they drag me to the surface. I am here to say, Let them drag you!!!! Find a buddy to work through the fear, meditate together (even virtually at the current moment), try something other than yoga if that is your usual go to outlet- dance, dance, dance- have that glass of wine and laugh like you did when you were a kid. In my family we used to play a card game called spoons. Even when I am in a really dark place spoons reminds me of childhood fun; my dad always cheating with a spoon up his sleeve, my mom waaaayyy too slow, my sister claiming she was the best and so much laughter:) Instead of a green smoothie to start your day, try a cacao smoothie with all the love and goodness added in with a touch of fruit, veggies and of course, chocolate. Play some twister, Uno or spoons. Let go of all the super adult things that weigh us down even for a little while. Just LIVE.
If you are like me and one of the only Yogi’s in world who just can’t seem to journal, set up your phone and do a video journal. Talk it out with yourself. You will be amazed at how honest you will be once you overcome the initial awkwardness.
And last but not least, force yourself to go outside. It has rained at my house for three solid months and between quarantine, my yoga studio shutting down and an intense growing depression; I went for a drive today. I saw sheep, kids playing in puddles, baby calves running in a field and a felt a glimmer of happiness.
It’s ok to “not do what you know you should do”! But try and think of 1 thing for which to be grateful. Maybe, it’s Mother Earth for bringing us Spring in the middle of chaos!!! Woot Woot! Start your garden so that you can grow your own food, take care of those baby chicks that will bring you eggs, smell those beautiful flowers and take a big breath. Meditation comes in all forms afterall.
You WILL be ok. We will all be ok. Just don’t beat yourself up along the way. Some wave will knock you down in the future and you may find yourself back in the low parts of life. Go ahead and have that snickers. Relish every bite. Then, go find an orchard and pick some peaches. Sweet, juicy and all the goodness of the Earth and life right in your hand. What could bring more joy than that?